night and the city

I had a nightmare last night -- the details are decidedly muddled, but I recall being harassed or attacked in some way. I know, for instance, I have a fear of walking home late at night, which, i hate to admit, is largely enforced by the news I watch. Why is it that I am prone think of the worst case scenarios? Sometimes I am walking and then decide to run before the light turns red, but in a flash i am on the ground. Othertimes I am walking through my usual route and a car pulls up and there is nothing I can do. I don't fight it. In dreams I try to resist, usually in a form of a sharp scream, an alarm, or a frantic dial of authorities, but to no avail. No last words.

I discovered Hollaback NY, which made feel slightly better. On tuesday I was walking out of a bar in downtown -- it was trivia night with my cohort -- and a heavy set man made some comment and gave me a leary eye that can only make one throw up a fist. But I didn't and kept walking as fast as I could.