a triumph of sorts

Well, today I received emails from the two professors who have agreed to read my thesis-in-progress. Yay! I'm just excited to have one hurdle out of the way. Now tomorrow I buy the ink, and then I can type out the letter of support, and then read the book.

thursday afternoon : must work on thesis abstract.

friday: meet with one professor and show abstract. I can do this.

100 beats per minute

I figured I could vent for a few minutes and write out my things to do list so that I can actually focus on one thing tonight and finish something. I sent out a couple of nice emails to profs asking them to be on my thesis committee. I loathe the waiting for a response part! I've just been antsy and totally erratic. I wonder if I will get sleeping tonight with, what, racing thoughts and this sense of urgency of meeting a deadline. All I want to do is curl up and read a book that isn't for a quiz. Of course, I did take a nap today accidentally; it's been a long time since I had a nap, which I used to be able to do because of 6:30 barista job. Last night I barely got 5 hours of sleep, which to others is more than enough, I am told.

so what do I need to do this week:
grunt work: a) get ink for printer so that b) I could print out some forms and then c) I can write out a thesis abstract, which d) needs a couple of signatures of approval.

of course I am still vague about my larger argument, but I am just glad that I at least selected two novels for the thesis, even if I am still apprehensive about them, which goes something like: I can't believe I am doing this with this novel; how did I all of sudden decide on this topic. God, my shoulders ache.

For tomorrow, I need to e) finish up some reading in between classes; on wednesday, I can f)work on abstract and g) then write a letter of support for a former prof who is up for tenure. I want totally write one!

So i guess the first order of business a) gettting the damn ink for printer. I hate stopping at the Office max or convenience stores for little errands. Today I actually bought grocery, which is a triumph, and last week I actually did 3 weeks of laundry. Okay, so this is small celebration -- hence procratiblogging?.

tonight: I must read through some notes for a quiz and read. If I have time, maybe I can write bits for letter of support.

out of sorts

Couldn't sleep last night, which isn't unusual for me, but I haven't had a slight panic attack for a while. Of course, I was up thinking about what's next for me? I bet years from now I'll still wonder and speculate about what to do next. It's no surprise, I guess, that I've been chronically neglecting this blog for months-- what is it now, a three month hiatus? Ah, I think, now there was a student full of promises, and inspired by the most inane things about life in school, buried in books and ideas. I was going to figure out why it all made sense to me, why it mattered to be doing what I enjoy--reading, writing, questioning, thinking--the life of the of the mind.

Last night I flashed forward to the summer: plagued with looking for a full time job that may or may not cover paying rent/bills, and finish writing. Gah! A friend of mine told me what her advisor said, and it was something to the effect of "serious grad students don't sleep." But I value my sleep. So, gee whiz, what now?

On the lighter side of things -- it rained and thundered last night, which means this morning the air is fresh as a daisy. I wish it were bright and sunny, but that may be asking too much of the universe. I'm just glad I had the opportunity to blog and have some coffee before reading.
It's a good day, I know it will. I love how reflecting on fleeting-yet-troubling thoughts can simmer things down, which reminds me -- I need to write to mentor. sigh.

C'mon, get some reading done today!!!