I goofed around the internet for the last two hours, searching for books I can borrow from my library, and then blog surfing took over. It is past 1 am. I am exhausted (and have been feeling mechanical for the last two weeks). My neck and shoulders are tight. The downward dog pose seems to be on demand, you know, just to loosen up and stop thinking for a while. I watched Sex and the City reruns two nights in a row and have been randomly switching channels to pass time. Pass time -- even I'm in disbelief as I write this. But that's right -- I watched regular TV. Perhaps it was a mental breakdown just a couple of nights before my paper was due. Ah, no. Procrastination, my faithful friend.
It is still raining -- wasn't a month of rain enough? No, apparently not. I jokingly said to a friend tonight that it will probably rain for the next 2 months. Probably. Two is magical number tonight.
So, happily, I handed in my paper -- it is done. A sigh of relief. And now back to the shuffle of things, only this time -- however fleeting a moment -- I am giddy and excited. Finally? I walked out of class tonight feeling invigorated and ready to ask questions, make lists, think of end of the semester papers. I feel a certain urgency to reflect on my current interests. Are the ideas evolving? Becoming complicated, I want to say, is my fantasy. I want a trace of what it is I am doing, and where I going with it. I have a chain of scholars/critics that I am thrilled about. I want a connection (need a faster connection?)
Perhaps I was hibernating.
Just two more months left in the semester. I am content, once again. Strange -- what else?
More lists to come, doubtless.
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