Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be satisfied with anything--writing, relationships, myself? Lately I've been feeling like nothing is enough these days. It's not an insatiable hunger per se, but just not feeling confident or too comfortable with one's abilities, intelligence, etc. I know self-doubt frequently visits me, but just the past few days it has been even more apparent. I wonder if I will ever truly accept anything and just be damn happy with what I have before me and what I have experienced. I have to remind myself to just go with the flow and stop worrying so much. Maybe I need to say that again -- stop worrying.
Incidentally, I got an A on the last paper, which is great but so anticlimactic. Why? because no one really cares about grades in grad school, and my paper was relatively uninteresting and thus lame effort. That is to say that I don't think the little exercise helped me develop further along the big project. So what now?
Sometimes I wonder if I care enough to want to change the things that bother me. I know I do, at least theoretically, but sometimes my eye glasses are fogged up.
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